When I first started this blog I had named it Please Explain. I would pose a question to whoever might be reading and hope for an answer. When I didn't recieve many responses or comments at all, not to mention thinking that my blog title was dumb I renamed it and stopped trying to think of things that baffled me and started to just write whatever I was thinking at the time of posting.
The first thing I'd like to do (well, second I suppose since I just explained some back story) is ask a "Please Explain" question with the hope that perhaps someone out there has a good answer. My question is this: why must I try and figure out new ways to meet people, hoping that one day I'll meet a lovely eligible bachelor who will then fall head over heels for me and I for him. It seems to me that I already know a ton of eligible bachelors, have a fair share of crushes and gentlemen I pine over. Why can't any of them just go ahead and express their undying love for me. It would certainly make my life a whole lot easier. I could just stop looking, work on an already exisiting relationship and carry on with my life. Someone please explain.
Now that that's out of the way I feel like it's time for me to say a few words about 2009. Everyone else seems to be giving end-of-year or beginning-of-year reflections or so I might as well do the same.
Here are some things that happened:
+ Finished one last quarter of classes, including a bowling class.
+ Lived off campus for the first time in my college career.
- Felt hurt and betrayal like I've never felt before.
+ Went to my first camping conference and visited family in Chicago.
+ Survived my internship.
+ Graduated.
+ Celebrated with multiple friends on their wedding days.
- Changed summer camps after 4 summers.
- Got my heart more or less broken, again.
+ Went whitewater rafting multiple times and got paid for it.
- Got asked where my counselor was by a raft guide.
- Learned how to drive a mini bus without a CDL.
+ Got my family to go whitewater rafting.
+/- moved into an apartment.
+ Started a new job as a part-time Christian Education Director.
-/+ Got my substitute teaching license.
+ Co-planned the 3rd annual Camp Otterbein Winter camp.
- Went on a couple of extremely awkward dates.
+ Got to spend sometime with my IWU in both August and December.
Overall it was a kind of so-so year. Not one that I'd relive. I believe the last year that I'd want to realive again is 2007. That was a great year from what I recall. Or at least the latter half of it was.
I'm really looking forward to 2010. Maybe that's just because I read a horoscope that lead me to believe that it's going to be a great year. If only I put a lot of stock into horoscopes, you know. But I suppose there's nothing to lose looking into the new year with an optimistic spirit. Yet I really am. Hopefully it'll be one of those "I'd relive that!" kind of years.
So, cheers and here's to a new year! One that will be altogether re-livable.
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Miss Katie,
ReplyDeletePlase know that you are NOT the only one who feels that way towards men. It used to be very hard for me to not go places and in the back of my mind cross my fingers that there just might be a cute Christian boy there. Just remember that God loves YOU and has a PERFECT plan JUST for you. I know it's so hard sometimes, especially when it seems like everyone around you is either: 1)in a relationship 2)getting engaged 3)married. Just think though - we are 22 years old! We have so much of our life left to meet that boy of our dreams :)
For much of the past couple years I felt the same way you did about guys. Although when opportunities arose for turning my friendships into something more I realized most of my guy friends were jerks. Sad day for me. But I got to the point I was too tired of looking and hoping and getting hurt with all my wishful thinking and I just gave up. I decided it was more productive to spend my energy in other ways and I really was just tired of getting hurt. And in that decision that I wasn't going to look anymore for a while, that's when I met the guy for me. Go figure when I'm not looking he is there. It seems that with a lot of my friends, when they haven't been looking for the one, that's when they meet someone that could possibly be a good guy or girl. So maybe you could try that avenue. It might take a while getting yourself to the point where you don't always think about it or look for guys, but if you try not worrying/thinking about it maybe you'll end up finding the guy anyways :)
ReplyDeletePS: I miss you
Katie #1
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree with Michelle there -- you are not alone, Katie! I've asked myself this question many-a-time. And the huge conclusion I've come to can be summed up in one word: prayer. I know that sounds cliche, but really. Through different experiences over the latter half of 08 and all of 09, the need to go to God and pray, pray, pray about a Godly man coming into my life has been reaffirmed SO many times. When you've tried meeting guys, going on [unfortunately awkward] dates, being set up by friends and then being disappointed, etc., your hopes of finding him dwindle, which causes your heart and mind and spirit to start questioning everything...at least this is what happened to me. I did break down in fact, and it was then I realized how God is totally FOR us; he has awesome plans for us which do not involve being torn apart by this stuff! So I resolved to stop beating myself up and just pray very hard that the man God has for me is being built up and when the time is right, we'll both come together with mutual feelings and such. And I'll know this not by my runaway emotions, but by how hungry we both are for God, if we're able to serve God better together than apart, and how we connect (I suppose attraction has to go in there somewhere). :)
ReplyDeleteAlso! As I pray for these Godly men (because I'm praying for myself and other single lady friends, including you!) to come into our lives, I pray for just that: boldness and confidence on the man's part to initiate and PURSUE in the first place. It's the man's role to pursue the woman, and I think so many men are unsure of how to do this. So we can pray for them, respect them as friends, and encourage them to step up. Just last week a young man at church went to a single lady friend of mine's ;) mom and asked permission to pursue her!! After I heard that, I went right up to him and congratulated him...and let him know how awesome that is. How proud I was! Hehe.
To wrap up this novel of a comment...I'm right there with you, friend. Wondering, hoping, and praying that a "lovely eligible bachelor" will come into my life and yours! And I fully believe this year is going to be AMAZING. God's impressing upon me how greater things are yet to come...let it be this year, God! :)
Thanks, ladies!
ReplyDeleteFear not though, it's not that I'm completely hopeless. Or wasting my life pining away. It was just one of those moments where I needed to wonder aloud, you know.
In all reality I think that if I found myself in a steady relationship right now I'd go crazy. Unless it's someone willing to move all over the country with me until I feel like my adventerous side has been fulfilled. There's no settling down anytime soon in my plans.
I think reframing the question helps, too. If you're only looking for 'Husband' (which I know you aren't but go with me on this), and only finding 'Not Husbands,' that's gonna be a downer. On the other hand, if you're looking for 'Cool People I Can Hang Out with' (1) they're a lot easier to find and (2) you'll probably find a dude who makes you say, "whoa, I need to ask him out." So it's not so much meeting new people to find a husband as to find cool people.
ReplyDeleteOr you could do like my sister and let a great-aunt set you up with an eligible young man at her church. Seems to be working for her.
One of the problems that a lot of mature young women have is finding mature, young MEN. Most times they only find BOYS.
ReplyDeleteI think the way out is to put yourself in places where God can use you and you might even come into contact with men.
And when you meet one ... ask him out. He's just as afraid of rejection as you are!!
Have courage. Have fun. Have faith ... lots of faith!
I'm not sure that there really is an answer for this one. It seems there aren't answers for any of life's hardest questions. And since I am only 17 I really can't realate to you on this one. But even so, there have been things in my life I've really wanted and tried to search for, and stopped looking for. I've found that it means a lot more when it finally does come. The things that mean the most are the things that are the hardest to achieve. They are the things that make us who we are.
ReplyDeleteYou'll find it dear. And when you do, it will be great!
Love you:)
Yes!!!!! I totally love blog postings related to relationships, especially from a Christian perspective :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Joel in that males seem to have become passive. Lately, I've been reminding myself that my self-worth is NOT based on whether a girl turns me down or not, but rather on what Christ did for ME (and YOU) on the cross. Therefore, having my value grounded firmly in that knowledge gives me the courage to risk rejection and ask the girl out.
There is an absolutely lovely gal in my bible study whom I've gotten to know better the past few months. We're having lunch tomorrow and my prayer is that this goes somewhere :) I'm going to take it slow...but not too slow.
God Bless!